Amazing Grace

Long ago, I screwed up pretty badly. There were many people who predicted that I wouldn't amount to much, and on one particular afternoon, I also was convinced that my future was a gloomy one. For a couple of hours, I immersed myself in a pity party, screaming at God in my mind for all the horrible things I thought I had to endure. Why had he been so cruel to me, I asked? Why had He been so unfair to me?

I tired of my ranting and lay quietly for another hour or so and then turned the radio on. I always had it on a country station, but I quickly noticed that what was coming out of the radio wasn't country.

A man with a Middle Eastern accent was talking, and he was repeating pretty much everything I had said during my earlier hissy fit. He, too, was angry with God, thinking he had been treated unfairly. Then he said God spoke to his heart, and He heard Christ saying to him, "Nothing you will ever have to endure will equal what I had to go through for you."

My jaw dropped. I hadn't changed the radio station, and I still can't explain how it came to be on that frequency. But as I listened, I was ashamed for all the complaining I had done earlier as I thought about the sacrifice God made for me and then what His son had to endure for me. Christ, who was sinless, died for me, a sinner, so that I could be redeemed. All that I thought I had suffered became trivial compared to that act of love. I will never have to endure what Christ was subjected to. I'll never know what it's like to take on the sins of the world, during a moment when the world rejected him. He did it even though He was being spit upon, beaten and then crucified. He did it even though He had been abandonded.

I'm spending a quiet Christmas with my dogs, but God is here, and I feel the majesty of His presence. As we celebrate the birth of Christ, I'm thankful for the love that I can't begin to understand, the love that motivated God to send His son to die for us. I'm so thankful for that love.

One of my favorite Scriptures is Isaiah 41:10. "Fear not for I am with thee. Be not dismayed for I am thy God ..." Such a powerful statement. He is with us. Always. I wish I could have been with the shepherds when the angel said, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people."

Wow. Can you imagine being the first to hear that announcement? And to think that the first to hear it were shepherds, ordinary people like the rest of us. Just some poor shepherds who were tending to their flocks. I can identify with them. God seems to have a soft spot for the lowly. His son was born in a manger, not a palace.

I love the words to a particular song that says, "Amazing grace shall always be my song of praise. For it was grace that bought my liberty. I do not know just why He came to love me so. He looked beyond my faults and saw my needs." I'm thankful for that grace, for like Paul, who prayed three times that God would remove the thorn in his side, I know that God's grace is sufficient for me. Even during times of suffering.

As I read Lisa's comments, I'm reminded of Jesus' mother. Lisa has a heart like Mary. Her compassion, her willingness to be a handmaiden of the Lord without complaint as she goes about her duties as a wife, mother, daughter, sister. I'm moved by the relationship she and De'on have. So much love. Such a love is of God, a love for God. They inspire me.

And there's Greg. Humble. So honest in his declarations that without God he is nothing. Greg is a man devoted to his Lord, and I know he would have been one of the shepherds. He has that kind of heart.

During this season of celebration, I'm thankful that Aaron and God caused me to know these wonderful people. God's grace is, indeed, sufficient for me.