Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Ways To Describe Officer Efficiency

Here's a list of the phrases you can use to describe military officers' efficiency. Sorry, Richard!

"Not the sharpest knife in the drawer."
"Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching."
"A room temperature IQ."
"Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together."
"A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
"A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."
"A prime candidate for natural deselection."
"Bright as Alaska in December."
"One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests."
"Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
"Fell out of the family tree."
"Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."
"Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it."
"He's so dense, light bends around him."
"If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate."
"If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
"If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
"If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."
"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."
"Takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes."
"Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby."
"Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."


LT Rich said...

Not like I haven't heard those before....wonder why people keep sending me that....:( hmmmmm

Steve Ramos said...

Probably cause we're just helpful kind of people. :)

De'on said...

Ithink you're hideous for putting that there, Steve. I always loved my officers, and I was around plenty of them working in staff.

I'm just joking. Another competitive thing in the military. We're so "groupy," but I do notice we'd lay down our lives for any one of them.

Great posts today, Steve! I love the bumper sticker!

Steve Ramos said...

I hope people will realize this is a joke. If you're military or exmilitary you'll understand. We were constantly poking fun at our officers. I worked mostly with officers in the Air Force, and they treated me like I was one of them. One of my best friends was an O3. It was the 1st Sergeants I had to worry about!

Anyway, this is just a joke, folks. There is no disrespect intended. When it came down to it, we always showed the officers respect. Even in the Air Force.

De'on Miller said...

lighten up frances, we know it's a joke. :)

My officers always liked me. Even that time I didn't pay attention to the unit of issue, and the CO called me at home and said, "Specialist Austin, you better get over here. Three duece and half's just pulled up with bug juice. You've sucked it all out of the system!"

But he was cool and told me not to worry about the $7000.00, just send it back, and of course, the money just changes account numbers in the military and our thousands were credited back.

And of course, I knew that already as I had done the same thing with nails in DC. Those I had to keep, and unload. I thought I learned the true meaning of UI then, but no...

This is a very true story. It kept a few smiling for months.

PS. My 1SG loved me too. I worked in OPS for two of them.

Steve Ramos said...

Frances huh? Hmmm. Put a St. in front of it, and I'm cool with it!

De'on Miller said...

that's going to happen!

But I do feel you could have commented a little on my work ethic in the sense that they all loved me. I have several awards and letters from them you know.

Remember my history award?

Like Karen, I am the student in front with 2 sharp pencils.

It ain't easy being cheesy!

Steve Ramos said...

You crack me up so much!!! Man, I can just see you and Karen in the front row with those pencils!! I can hardly type!!!

De'on said...

Cute. everyone tells me so. :)