Sunday, February 04, 2007

Virgie Bell's View: Fence Plowing?

The absolute latest thing in recreational sports is Fence Plowing. Fence Plowing is where you get back far enough to get your speed up really fast and then run straight into a fence. My how the world has changed. It must be that all the generations before now were just too blame dumb to spark up a thought on inventing such a new and challenging game. Of course, like everything in my life, I am just too slow to comprehend what everyone else seems to grasp instantly. It could be also that when I first noticed this new recreational activity that my TV was on mute, I was therefore under the impression that someone was running away from somebody else, and that they were scared to death.

Being old sometimes has its advantages. We begin to lose our five senses, but as we do, something else is intensified. Eyes go, ears compensate. You can hear a pin drop, but can’t see the blame thing and can’t find it until it buries itself in your foot.

So anyway, I tried to figure out why these strong viral boys were running headlong through a fence. Turned up the volume on the television set and the only sound was this loud crash. Over and over this crash and the view of a fence falling. Well some people got really ticked off at the talking heads, those who explain to you what you are and what you should do about it. I find them an absolute necessity when viewing captivating sporting events. Seems most men are born with an innate sense that knows these things. Not us women. I don't know a field goal from a touchdown. Finally one of my favorite talkers comes on and explained that this is the latest trend for our youth. The recommended equipment is a fence made of wooden planks. The really coveted equipment is a wooden fence put up in sections. If you are lucky enough to have such accommodations, you are in business. Just set back and relax. The friendly dumpers may appear any day in your own back yard. I would assume that Depends Undergarments be required of the spectator. Other than that, just set back and enjoy the show. I would also add that a large pit bull would add to your pleasure in this back yard extravaganza.


Caution: It goes without saying that you should be checked over by your doctor. If you suffer from high blood pressure or heart trouble, I would recommend installing a brick or cement block fence.

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