Give Em Hell

Watching our political leaders try to design a plan that will ensure victory in Iraq is like watching Jethro Bodine trying to become a double naught spy. But at least Jethro was funny. There's nothing humorous about the finger pointing and hand wringing going on in Washington.

I'm not going to contribute to the blame game and waste time naming the culprits for the Iraqi mess. We're all to blame. Those people in D.C. answer to us, the voters, and we must accept the responsibility for giving them their jobs. Of course, the arrogant representatives of the people forget they work for us, but we're also to blame for that. We let them forget that the voters are the boss.

The scramble to design a victory plan for Iraq is one more spastic dance choreographed by people who have proven they can't find their asses with both hands. Their incompetence is fueled by their arrogance, and they parade their futile findings as if they had just stepped off the mountain with a couple of stone tablets. They forget that in this case, the carving in the tablets is in their handwriting, not God's. But that's a minor detail to them.

As a shareholder in this great country, I, too, have a right to submit my plan for a victory in Iraq. It won't be considered, of course, because it's evident that I haven't mastered the art of getting myself tangled in a web when all I had to do in the first place was get a broom and knock the dang thing down. The politicians get tangled in the web of their own weaving and then spend billions of dollars and years trying to untangle themselves. Well I've got my broom out and I'm knocking the web down with all the idiots in it.

Iraqis can't govern themselves right now. Stop acting as if they can. Let's say you have three teenagers at home who are constantly trying to kill each other and burn the house down in the process. What are you going to do? Does it make sense to constantly ask them to behave and like one another? Should you make incessant pleas for peace? No, you knock them upside the head, tie them up if you have to, and you don't give them control over anything. Not even the garage door opener.

So let's stop wasting our time pretending that the Iraqis will magically arrive at a place where they will dance around the May pole and install a government that will share the country's resources equally and honor human rights. It ain't gonna happen.

Stop the insanity. Forget the politically correct bullshit. We've got a mess on our hands and acting as if we don't know where it came from is ludicrous. News flash, folks. We're part of the architectural firm responsible for the mess, so let's be grownups and fix it. Leave Iraq? Oh, good one. Yes, let's just take our toys and go home because, gosh, we just don't have the guts to do some good old-fashioned ass kicking.

We need to arrest, yes arrest, those Iraqi leaders who support and encourage the sectarian violence. We need to shut down that incompetent and impotent operation that tries to pass itself off as an Iraqi governing body. Bull. As long as American soldiers and Marines are dying in Iraq, then we have the right to rule that country. You can't take a bunch of fourth-graders and ask them to build a space station. The Iraqis simply cannot govern at this time.

So, my dear political leaders, I'm sick and tired of your bullshit. I'm sick and tired of you wallowing in incompetence when the answer to an incredibly complex problem isn't so complex. We, the Americans, must make the rules in Iraq. We have no qualms about building prison after prison in our own country. Build however many prisons it takes to house those Iraqi criminals who murder their own. Bring down a heavy hand in Iraq. Give them limited say in how the country will operate. When they learn to behave in a manner that shows they want to act civilized, then we'll treat them accordingly. Until then, what we say goes.

We don't pull out. We get tough, and we occupy. Yes, we occupy, and anyone who doesn't like the word can pack it up and move to Canada. I've had enough of American soldiers and Marines dying in a country that has no regard for human life and dignity. Bring down the mighty American fist in Iraq, and kill those thugs who are destroying their own country,whether it be 10 of them or a million.

We wanted a war in 2003. Well, we've got one. Now let's start acting like we're at war and get the job done. If you thought war was going to be pretty, then I have no sympathy for you, but I'll be damned if I'm going to keep quiet and let any political leader make a decision that will ultimately threaten the security of the United States.