sNIpPeTs FRom stEvE

"@#!*$To the moon lady, to the moon!"

I'd asked Steve to be a little more honest about how things were going for him. I told him I'd never played such a sanitized version of Companion to the Ill in my life.

Below are snippets of emails he sent to me after that. They're the first I've had from him that were more than five words long.

Remember: we get to laugh here ... especially about the really hard stuff! YOU HAVE TO!

.... You crack me up! I guess I'm not a good patient because I don't like to tell anyone when I feel bad. But I'll do my best to be a better whiner. I ordered a phone online because I couldn't bear the idea of going to a Sprint store and standing in line for hours. At least that's the way it is in Amarillo. You literally wait for an hour or more before you can talk to some pimply clerk who is busy text-messaging his girlfriend. So how's that for whining?!! I should get the phone tomorrow.

.... My spirits are up, but my body doesn't always cooperate with that mood. I just ignore it and focus on the positive.

.... My head is hurting some today, which is a novelty for me because I've never had a headache in my life. I'm trying not to be a grouch about it, but a couple of cats have decided to spar near the yard a few times, which sends the dogs into a frenzy. They despise cats (sorry Sarah!), and when they hear the commotion, they bark and run out the door. It doesn't help my head any, but the dogs get a lot of pleasure out of adding to the ruckus. Petey paws the ground, sending dirt flying for 20 feet in his display of canine machoness. The little s***! I'm glad they're here.


.... I've been a little testy lately. That's usually why I don't write much in my e-mails.

...I had to go to the store to get the dog's chicken earlier, and this woman in front of me had a basket full of groceries in the express lane. Usually, I wouldn't say anything out loud, I'd just think it, but I'm in no mood to suffer idiots right now, so I did say something. She and the clerk were a little shocked, and the woman said something testy to me. I told the clerk to call the manager, that it was the express lane and which part of that did they not understand?

Oh, Virgie would have been so proud of me. The manager came over, and I told him that if they weren't going to take the express lanes seriously, then they should just take the signs down. What good were they if they allowed people with a gazillion items to go through them? I said I have two items, and I'm not going to wait behind this lady. So the manager asked the lady to please go to one of the other lanes. She huffed and pulled her cart back, giving me the evil eye, but I responded with a glare that would have turned steam to ice. I'm not feeling well, lady, so you don't wanna mess with me right now!! I was hoping she would be waiting for me in the parking lot. I'd feel a lot better right now if I could just slap the tar out of someone! Aren't I horrible?

Other than wanting to wrestle in the grocery store parking lot, I'm doing OK.

.... I mentioned to one of the office people at the hospital that I felt horrible for not having insurance right now. She was great and she said, "You've been paying taxes for how many years now?" I told her for a lot of years, and she said, "Well, you have no reason to feel bad. You've more than paid for this treatment." That was nice of her. I thought about asking if they'd throw in a Lexus, too, since I'm sure I've paid in enough to cover one, but I'm not pushing my luck.

.... If you want, you can post my e-mails. I feel so bad for not posting the past couple of days, but I feel pretty weak right now and just moving my fingers around the keyboard feels like I'm running a marathon. Oh, honey, believe me. You don't want to open the flood gates to my complaining!!

I'll answer all your questions in a bit. Right now, I'm going to sit on the front porch for a bit. Honestly, you'd think I was a Yankee by how horrible I've been acting! We all know what atrocious manners they have! he he, just kidding all my East Coast friends!

***

And my answer to him:

So tell me more. Who else would you like to do in? What smells or foods make you want to hug the commode? Gripe complain call.