This is the XO speaking. All hands prepare to moon them when they get alongside.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Air Force First Sergeant Test
1. You are having lunch with your new colonel, talking about the decision paper you wrote. During the conversation, a blonde walks into the dining area and she is so stunning you draw your boss's attention to her. Having his complete attention, you give a vivid description of what you would do if you had her alone in a motel room. She walks over to the table and introduces herself as the colonel's daughter. Your next move is:
a. Ask for her hand in marriage.
b. Pretend you've forgotten how to speak English.
c. Repeat the conversation to the daughter and hope for the best.
2. You have been tasked to present a briefing to the General. The success of this presentation will mean increasing your authorized manpower slots by 125%. In the middle of the proposal the General leans over to look at your report and spits in your coffee. You:
a. Tell him you prefer your coffee black.
b. Ask him about his recent root canal.
c. Take a leak in his "OUT" box.
3. You are presenting a briefing to a group of 0-6s in the plushest office you've ever seen. The hot enchilada casserole and egg salad sandwich you had for lunch reacts, creating a severe pressure. Your sphincter loses its control and you break wind in a most convincing manner, causing three water glasses to shatter and a colonel to pass out. What you should do next is:
a. Offer to come back next week when the smell has gone away.
b. Point out the Chief of Staff and accuse him of the offense.
c. Challenge anyone in the room to do better.
4. You are at a briefing when you suddenly are overcome with an uncontrollable desire to pick your nose. Remembering this is definitely a NO-NO, you:
a. Pretend to wave to someone across the room, and with one fluid motion, bury your finger into your nostril right up to the fourth joint.
b. Get everyone drunk and organize a nose-picking contest with a prize to the one who makes his nose bleed first.
c. Drop your notes on the floor, and when you bend over to pick them up, blow your nose on your sock.
5. You have just spent the evening with an IG inspector who kept you at the club drinking until lights out. You get home just in time to change and go to work. You stagger into the men's room and spend the next half hour vomiting. As you are washing up at the sink, you boss walks in, blows cigar smoke in your face and asks you to join him for drinks after work. You:
a. Look him straight in the eye and launch one last convulsive torrent at the front of his Class A uniform.
b. Nail him right in the crotch, banking on the hope he'll never recognize your green face.
c. Grasp his hand and pump it until he pees in his pants.
6. It's November and you've just returned from a TDY (temporary duty) trip to Atlanta, Georgia. You tell your boss nobody but whores and football players live there. He explodes with, "My wife is from Atlanta!" You:
a. Ask what position she plays.
b. Ask if she's still working the streets.
c. Pretend you're going into a malaria induced coma.
7. You're attending a briefing given by a Colonel. You feel a tremendous pressure building in your anal area which you diagnose as gas accumulation. Feeling confident you have the muscle tone required for a controlled venting operation, you allow the sphincter to slightly relax. As the hair curls on the nape of your neck, you realize your error in judgment as fifty cubic centimeters of diarrhea slam into your jockey shorts. Your next action is:
a. Moan loudly, grasp your chest, and fake a massive coronary.
b. Ask mindless questions concerning the subject being briefed, wait for someone to yell, "who gives a sh*t!" then raise you hand.
8. You feel the onset of a horrendous sneeze halfway through a briefing. Realizing you do not have a handkerchief, you elect to sneeze into the naked palm of your right hand. After muttering appropriate social amenity, you conduct visual inspection of the results of your action and discover your palm is encased in a pool of multi-viscosity goo. You elect to:
a. Open your uniform shirt and wipe the secretion on your T-shirt.
b. Pretend you are brushing a fly off the back of the person seated in front of you.
c. Spread the offending matter on your hair, then use a comb to work it in the larger pieces.
Dang, I miss the Air Force!!
a. Ask for her hand in marriage.
b. Pretend you've forgotten how to speak English.
c. Repeat the conversation to the daughter and hope for the best.
2. You have been tasked to present a briefing to the General. The success of this presentation will mean increasing your authorized manpower slots by 125%. In the middle of the proposal the General leans over to look at your report and spits in your coffee. You:
a. Tell him you prefer your coffee black.
b. Ask him about his recent root canal.
c. Take a leak in his "OUT" box.
3. You are presenting a briefing to a group of 0-6s in the plushest office you've ever seen. The hot enchilada casserole and egg salad sandwich you had for lunch reacts, creating a severe pressure. Your sphincter loses its control and you break wind in a most convincing manner, causing three water glasses to shatter and a colonel to pass out. What you should do next is:
a. Offer to come back next week when the smell has gone away.
b. Point out the Chief of Staff and accuse him of the offense.
c. Challenge anyone in the room to do better.
4. You are at a briefing when you suddenly are overcome with an uncontrollable desire to pick your nose. Remembering this is definitely a NO-NO, you:
a. Pretend to wave to someone across the room, and with one fluid motion, bury your finger into your nostril right up to the fourth joint.
b. Get everyone drunk and organize a nose-picking contest with a prize to the one who makes his nose bleed first.
c. Drop your notes on the floor, and when you bend over to pick them up, blow your nose on your sock.
5. You have just spent the evening with an IG inspector who kept you at the club drinking until lights out. You get home just in time to change and go to work. You stagger into the men's room and spend the next half hour vomiting. As you are washing up at the sink, you boss walks in, blows cigar smoke in your face and asks you to join him for drinks after work. You:
a. Look him straight in the eye and launch one last convulsive torrent at the front of his Class A uniform.
b. Nail him right in the crotch, banking on the hope he'll never recognize your green face.
c. Grasp his hand and pump it until he pees in his pants.
6. It's November and you've just returned from a TDY (temporary duty) trip to Atlanta, Georgia. You tell your boss nobody but whores and football players live there. He explodes with, "My wife is from Atlanta!" You:
a. Ask what position she plays.
b. Ask if she's still working the streets.
c. Pretend you're going into a malaria induced coma.
7. You're attending a briefing given by a Colonel. You feel a tremendous pressure building in your anal area which you diagnose as gas accumulation. Feeling confident you have the muscle tone required for a controlled venting operation, you allow the sphincter to slightly relax. As the hair curls on the nape of your neck, you realize your error in judgment as fifty cubic centimeters of diarrhea slam into your jockey shorts. Your next action is:
a. Moan loudly, grasp your chest, and fake a massive coronary.
b. Ask mindless questions concerning the subject being briefed, wait for someone to yell, "who gives a sh*t!" then raise you hand.
8. You feel the onset of a horrendous sneeze halfway through a briefing. Realizing you do not have a handkerchief, you elect to sneeze into the naked palm of your right hand. After muttering appropriate social amenity, you conduct visual inspection of the results of your action and discover your palm is encased in a pool of multi-viscosity goo. You elect to:
a. Open your uniform shirt and wipe the secretion on your T-shirt.
b. Pretend you are brushing a fly off the back of the person seated in front of you.
c. Spread the offending matter on your hair, then use a comb to work it in the larger pieces.
Dang, I miss the Air Force!!
Virgie Bell's View
The one thing I am more grateful for than anything this coming year is Tony Thomas, the cutest and smartest cat to ever adopt a family in the USA, and now I find that Tony is also thrifty. He has this little condominium house and on the very back wall he has a little pile of pecans started. Lisa said she tried to feed him the other day when we were at the doctor’s office in Lubbock. When she got there, she found Tony with a pecan in his mouth. She said she tried to get it out, but he would not give it up.
Jerry tried to get in all the hours at work he could before 2007 rang in. I think the oil companies also try to get that last load before saying adios to year 2006. So actually, I just killed time watching Tony and being edgy until Jerry came in that front door. That’s another thing I've noticed about Tony .Those little ears go up when he hears Jerry come in after work. He knows before Jerry hits the front door. Tony goes to pacing back and forth until Daddy goes out there and acknowledges him with a few words and a few strokes to finish up the day.
Lisa called Jerry the other night about the new cat food she was worried about that we were feeding Tony. It’s Science Diet Lite for young adult cats. She was worried we were already putting Tony on a diet. Jerry’s words were, “I can’t spend $50.00 on that damn cat everyday,” but I see we had a new sack of cat food the very next day.
The thing is, dog and cat food are regulated by the government and was once recommended as food to put in a bomb shelter after the Cuban Missile Crises. Yes, I am serious. Food for humans is not regulated unless you get MREs in the military. I really think that for any change to be made in pet food as far as light food goes, is that the only change that is allowed is in calories. The nutrition has to stay the same regardless of the calorie content. At any rate, Tony has his own little stash of pecans horded away in case anyone gets any ideas about fooling around with his diet. Lisa thinks all cats should be as fat as her stuck-up cat or De’on’s hateful cat. Tony knows those cousins of his are fat and lazy, whereas he is sleek and energetic. And besides, they are females and he is male or oooppps, nearly male. His daddy glared at me when we did that little medical thing to Tony. Jerry said, “Now all he can do is sleep and eat."
“Men are such pigs,” said I then, to Tony’s daddy.
Jerry grinned...but seriously, he did not like that Tony got his wings clipped, or whatever. But we did it to keep that little man at home, safe, sound, and well. Just sleeping and eating. He reminds me of Mandy, a much earlier momma dog of Lisa’s. Mandy always had that little rock in her mouth. I am so grateful we have Tony, and I SUPPORT THE TROOPS!
Jerry tried to get in all the hours at work he could before 2007 rang in. I think the oil companies also try to get that last load before saying adios to year 2006. So actually, I just killed time watching Tony and being edgy until Jerry came in that front door. That’s another thing I've noticed about Tony .Those little ears go up when he hears Jerry come in after work. He knows before Jerry hits the front door. Tony goes to pacing back and forth until Daddy goes out there and acknowledges him with a few words and a few strokes to finish up the day.
Lisa called Jerry the other night about the new cat food she was worried about that we were feeding Tony. It’s Science Diet Lite for young adult cats. She was worried we were already putting Tony on a diet. Jerry’s words were, “I can’t spend $50.00 on that damn cat everyday,” but I see we had a new sack of cat food the very next day.
The thing is, dog and cat food are regulated by the government and was once recommended as food to put in a bomb shelter after the Cuban Missile Crises. Yes, I am serious. Food for humans is not regulated unless you get MREs in the military. I really think that for any change to be made in pet food as far as light food goes, is that the only change that is allowed is in calories. The nutrition has to stay the same regardless of the calorie content. At any rate, Tony has his own little stash of pecans horded away in case anyone gets any ideas about fooling around with his diet. Lisa thinks all cats should be as fat as her stuck-up cat or De’on’s hateful cat. Tony knows those cousins of his are fat and lazy, whereas he is sleek and energetic. And besides, they are females and he is male or oooppps, nearly male. His daddy glared at me when we did that little medical thing to Tony. Jerry said, “Now all he can do is sleep and eat."
“Men are such pigs,” said I then, to Tony’s daddy.
Jerry grinned...but seriously, he did not like that Tony got his wings clipped, or whatever. But we did it to keep that little man at home, safe, sound, and well. Just sleeping and eating. He reminds me of Mandy, a much earlier momma dog of Lisa’s. Mandy always had that little rock in her mouth. I am so grateful we have Tony, and I SUPPORT THE TROOPS!
Changes To Recruit Training
In an effort to ensure proper training and readiness among the military services, Congress has approved the following changes to basic principles of recruit training:
Haircuts
Marines: Heads will be shaved.
Army: Stylish flat-top's for all recruits.
Navy: No haircut standard.
Air Force: Complete makeovers as seen on Oprah.
Training Hours
Marines: Reveille at 0500, train until 2000.
Army: Reveille at 0600, train until 1900.
Navy: Get out of bed at 0900, train until 1100, lunch until 1300, train until 1600.
Air Force: Awaken at 1000, breakfast in bed, train from 1100 to 1200, lunch at 1200, train from 1300 to 1400, nap at 1400, awaken from nap at 1500, training ceases at 1500.
Meals
Marines: Meals, Ready-to-Eat 3 times a day.
Army: One hot meal, 2 MRE's.
Navy: 3 hot meals.
Air Force: Catered meals prepared by the Galloping Gourmet, Julia Child, and Wolfgang Puck and Emeril Lagasse. All you can eat.
Leave And Liberty
Marines: None.
Army: 4 hours a week.
Navy: 2 days a week.
Air Force: For every four hours of training, recruits will receive eight hours of leave and liberty.
Protocol
Marines: Will address all officers as "Sir," and refer to the rank of all enlisted members when speaking to them (i.e., Sgt. Smith).
Army: Will address all officers as "Sir," unless they are friends, and will call all enlisted personnel "Sarge."
Navy: Will address all officers as "Skipper," and all enlisted personnel as "Chief."
Air Force: All Air Force personnel shall be on a first name basis with each other.
Decorations/Awards
Marines: Medals and badges are awarded for acts of gallantry and bravery only.
Army: Medals and badges are awarded for every bullet fired, hand grenade thrown, fitness test passed, and bed made.
Navy: Will have ships' engineers make medals for them as desired.
Air Force: Will be issued all medals and badges, as they will most likely be awarded them at some point early in their careers anyway.
Camouflage Uniforms
Marines: Work uniform, to be worn only during training and in field situations.
Army: Will wear it anytime, anywhere.
Navy: Will not wear camouflage uniforms, they do not camouflage you on a ship. (Ship Captains will make every effort to attempt to explain this to sailors.)
Air Force: Will defeat the purpose of camouflage uniforms by putting blue and silver chevrons and colorful squadron patches all over them.
Career Fields
Marines: All Marines shall be considered riflemen first and foremost.
Army: It doesn't matter, all career fields promote to E-8 in first enlistment anyway.
Navy: Nobody knows. The Navy is still trying figure out what sailors in the ABH, SMC, BNC and BSN rates do anyway.
Air Force: Every recruit will be trained in a manner that will allow them to leave the service early to go on to higher paying civilian jobs.
Haircuts
Marines: Heads will be shaved.
Army: Stylish flat-top's for all recruits.
Navy: No haircut standard.
Air Force: Complete makeovers as seen on Oprah.
Training Hours
Marines: Reveille at 0500, train until 2000.
Army: Reveille at 0600, train until 1900.
Navy: Get out of bed at 0900, train until 1100, lunch until 1300, train until 1600.
Air Force: Awaken at 1000, breakfast in bed, train from 1100 to 1200, lunch at 1200, train from 1300 to 1400, nap at 1400, awaken from nap at 1500, training ceases at 1500.
Meals
Marines: Meals, Ready-to-Eat 3 times a day.
Army: One hot meal, 2 MRE's.
Navy: 3 hot meals.
Air Force: Catered meals prepared by the Galloping Gourmet, Julia Child, and Wolfgang Puck and Emeril Lagasse. All you can eat.
Leave And Liberty
Marines: None.
Army: 4 hours a week.
Navy: 2 days a week.
Air Force: For every four hours of training, recruits will receive eight hours of leave and liberty.
Protocol
Marines: Will address all officers as "Sir," and refer to the rank of all enlisted members when speaking to them (i.e., Sgt. Smith).
Army: Will address all officers as "Sir," unless they are friends, and will call all enlisted personnel "Sarge."
Navy: Will address all officers as "Skipper," and all enlisted personnel as "Chief."
Air Force: All Air Force personnel shall be on a first name basis with each other.
Decorations/Awards
Marines: Medals and badges are awarded for acts of gallantry and bravery only.
Army: Medals and badges are awarded for every bullet fired, hand grenade thrown, fitness test passed, and bed made.
Navy: Will have ships' engineers make medals for them as desired.
Air Force: Will be issued all medals and badges, as they will most likely be awarded them at some point early in their careers anyway.
Camouflage Uniforms
Marines: Work uniform, to be worn only during training and in field situations.
Army: Will wear it anytime, anywhere.
Navy: Will not wear camouflage uniforms, they do not camouflage you on a ship. (Ship Captains will make every effort to attempt to explain this to sailors.)
Air Force: Will defeat the purpose of camouflage uniforms by putting blue and silver chevrons and colorful squadron patches all over them.
Career Fields
Marines: All Marines shall be considered riflemen first and foremost.
Army: It doesn't matter, all career fields promote to E-8 in first enlistment anyway.
Navy: Nobody knows. The Navy is still trying figure out what sailors in the ABH, SMC, BNC and BSN rates do anyway.
Air Force: Every recruit will be trained in a manner that will allow them to leave the service early to go on to higher paying civilian jobs.
Taliban Dating Service
At the top right it says: I am a man looking to own 1.) a woman; 2.) camel; 3.) goatUnder Osama's pic it says: "Osama says: Before I found this site my love life was limited to beasts of the field, but now I have found many women to subjugate and brutalize. Nice job."
The pics are all of veiled women, and the little headlines above their pics are : I'm winking at you; I can't see anyone here; Make me 1 of your wives; R U A terrorist with a heart; I declare a jihad on you baby.
On all of them it has:
Occupation: Not Allowed
Income: Not Allowed
Hobbies: Not Allowed.
Osama's Valentine
Little David comes home from first grade and tells his father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day.
"Since Valentine's day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," he asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?"
David's father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?"
"Osama bin Laden," David says.
"Why Osama bin Laden?" his father asks in shock.
"Well," David says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish boy could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."
His father's heart swells and he looks at his boy with newfound pride. "David, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard."
"I know," David says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow the crap out of him."
"Since Valentine's day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," he asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?"
David's father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?"
"Osama bin Laden," David says.
"Why Osama bin Laden?" his father asks in shock.
"Well," David says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish boy could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."
His father's heart swells and he looks at his boy with newfound pride. "David, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard."
"I know," David says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow the crap out of him."
If Today's Media Reported the Battle of Midway
Midway Island Demolished. Yorktown, destroyer sunk.
Many US planes lost
June 7, 1942 -- The United States Navy suffered another blow in its attempt to stem the Japanese juggernaut ravaging the Pacific Ocean. Midway Island, perhaps the most vital U.S. outpost, was pummeled by Japanese naval aviators. The defending U.S. forces, consisting primarily of antique Buffalo fighters, were competely wiped out while the Japanese attackers suffered few, if any, losses.
In a nearby naval confrontation, the Japanese successfully attacked the Yorktown which was later sunk by a Japanese submarine. A destroyer lashed to the Yorktown was also sunk.
American forces claim to have sunk four Japanese carriers and the cruiser Mogami, but those claims were vehemently denied by the Emporer's spokeman.
The American carriers lost an entire squadron of torpedo planes when they failed to link up with fighter escorts. The dive bombers had fighter escort even though they weren't engaged by enemy fighters. The War Department refused to answer when asked why the fighters were assigned to the wrong attack groups. The Hornet lost a large number of planes when they couldn't locate the enemy task force. Despite this cavalcade of errors, admirals Fletcher and Spruance have not been removed.
Code Broken
The failure at Midway is even more disheartening because the U.S. Navy knew the Japanese were coming. Secret documents provided to the New York Times showed that "Magic" intercepts showed the Japanese planned to attack Midway, which they called "AF".
Obsolete Equipment
Some critics blamed the failure at Midway on the use of obsolete aircraft. The inappropriately named Devastator torpedo planes proved no match for the Japanese fighters. Even the Avengers, its schedule replacements, were riddled with bullets and rendered unflyable. Secretary of War Stimson dodged the question saying simply, "You go to war with the Navy you have, not the Navy you want or would like to have."
Critics immediately called for his resignation.
Many US planes lost
June 7, 1942 -- The United States Navy suffered another blow in its attempt to stem the Japanese juggernaut ravaging the Pacific Ocean. Midway Island, perhaps the most vital U.S. outpost, was pummeled by Japanese naval aviators. The defending U.S. forces, consisting primarily of antique Buffalo fighters, were competely wiped out while the Japanese attackers suffered few, if any, losses.
In a nearby naval confrontation, the Japanese successfully attacked the Yorktown which was later sunk by a Japanese submarine. A destroyer lashed to the Yorktown was also sunk.
American forces claim to have sunk four Japanese carriers and the cruiser Mogami, but those claims were vehemently denied by the Emporer's spokeman.
The American carriers lost an entire squadron of torpedo planes when they failed to link up with fighter escorts. The dive bombers had fighter escort even though they weren't engaged by enemy fighters. The War Department refused to answer when asked why the fighters were assigned to the wrong attack groups. The Hornet lost a large number of planes when they couldn't locate the enemy task force. Despite this cavalcade of errors, admirals Fletcher and Spruance have not been removed.
Code Broken
The failure at Midway is even more disheartening because the U.S. Navy knew the Japanese were coming. Secret documents provided to the New York Times showed that "Magic" intercepts showed the Japanese planned to attack Midway, which they called "AF".
Obsolete Equipment
Some critics blamed the failure at Midway on the use of obsolete aircraft. The inappropriately named Devastator torpedo planes proved no match for the Japanese fighters. Even the Avengers, its schedule replacements, were riddled with bullets and rendered unflyable. Secretary of War Stimson dodged the question saying simply, "You go to war with the Navy you have, not the Navy you want or would like to have."
Critics immediately called for his resignation.
Military Life -- In Their Own Words
"'Leaning forward' is really just the first phase of 'falling on your face.'"
Marine Col (MARFOREUR)
"I am so far down the food chain that I've got plankton bites on my butt."
"None of us is as dumb as all of us." Excerpted from a brief (EUCOM)
"We're from the nuke shop, sir. We're the crazy aunt in the closet that nobody likes to talk about ..." Lt Col (EUCOM) in briefings
"Things are looking up for us here. In fact, Papua-New Guinea is thinking of offering two platoons: one of Infantry (headhunters) and one of engineers (hut builders). They want to eat any Iraqis they kill. We've got no issues with that, but State is being anal about it." LTC (JS) on OIF coalition-building.
"The chance of success in these talks is the same as the number of "R's" in 'fat chance...'" GS-15 (SHAPE)
"His knowledge on that topic is only power point deep..." MAJ (JS)
"Ya know, in this Command, if the world were supposed to end tomorrow, it would still happen behind schedule." CWO4 (EUCOM)
"We are condemned men who are chained and will row in place until we rot." LtCol (CENTCOM) on life at his Command
"Right now we're pretty much the ham in a bad ham sandwich..." GO/FO (EUCOM)
"The only reason that anything ever gets done is because there are pockets of competence in every command. The key is to find them ... and then exploit the hell out of 'em." CDR (CENTCOM)
"I may be slow, but I do poor work..." MAJ (USAREUR)
"Cynicism is the smoke that rises from the ashes of burned out dreams." Maj (CENTCOM) on the daily thrashings delivered to AOs at his Command.
"Working with Hungary is like watching a bad comedy set on auto repeat..." LCDR (EUCOM)
"I finally figured out that when a Turkish officer tells you, "Its no problem," he means, for him." Maj (EUCOM)
"Never in the history of the US Armed Forces have so many done so much for so few..." MAJ (Task Force Warrior) on the "success" of the Free Iraqi Forces (FIF) Training Program, where 1100 Army troops trained 77 Iraqi exiles at the cost of, ...well, ...way too much...
"Never in the history of the US Armed Forces have so many done so much for so few..." MAJ (Task Force Warrior) on the "success" of the Free Iraqi Forces (FIF) Training Program, where 1100 Army troops trained 77 Iraqi exiles at the cost of, ... well, ... way too much ...
"Between us girls, would it help to clarify the issue if you knew that Hungary is land-locked?" CDR to MAJ (EUCOM) on why a deployment from Hungary is likely to proceed by air vice sea
"So, what do you wanna do?"..."I dunno, what do YOU wanna do?"..."I dunno, what do YOU wanna do?," etc. COL (DIA) describing the way OUSD(P) develops and implements their strategies.
"I'll be right back. I have to go pound my nuts flat ..." Lt Col (EUCOM) after being assigned a difficult task
"I guess this is the wrong power cord for the computer, huh?" LtCol (EUCOM) after the smoke cleared from plugging his 110V computer into a 220V outlet
"'Status quo,' as you know, is Latin for 'the mess we're in...'" Attributed to former President Ronald Reagan
"Nobody ever said you had to be smart to make 0-6." Col (EUCOM)
"I haven't complied with a darn thing and nothing bad has happened to me yet."
"Whatever happened to good old-fashioned military leadership? Just task the first two people you see."
"Accuracy and attention to detail take a certain amount of time."
"I seem to be rapidly approaching the apex of my mediocre career." MAJ (JS)
"Much work remains to be done before we can announce our total failure to make any progress."
"It's not a lot of work unless you have to do it." LTC (EUCOM)
"Creating smoking holes (with bombs) gives our lives meaning and enhances our manliness." LTC (EUCOM) at a CT conference
"You can get drunk enough to do most anything, but you have to realize going in that there are some things that, once you sober up and realize what you have done, will lead you to either grab a 12-gauge or stay drunk for the rest of your life."
"Let's just call Lessons Learned what they really are: institutionalized scab picking."
"You're not a loser. You're just not my kind of winner..." GS-14 (OSD)
"I'm just livin' the dream..." EUCOM staffer response to the question, "How's it going?" or, "What are you doing?"
"Why would an enemy want to bomb this place and end all the confusion?" GS-14 (EUCOM)
"Other than the fact that there's no beer, an early curfew and women that wear face coverings for a very good reason, Kabul is really a wonderful place to visit." LTC (CENTCOM)
"It was seen, ... visually." LTC (EUCOM) during a Reconnaissance briefing
"Let me tell you about the benefits of being on a staff ..." "This should be a short conversation." Lt Col to Lt Col (EUCOM)
"After seeing the way this place works, I bet that Mickey Mouse wears a EUCOM watch." Maj (EUCOM)
"I keep myself confused on purpose, just in case I am captured and fall into enemy hands!" GO/FO (CENTCOM)
"Does anybody around here remember if I did anything this year?" LTC (EUCOM) preparing his Officer Evaluation Report support form
"I'd be happy to classify this document for you. Could you tell me its classification?" GS11 (EUCOM) in an email from the Foreign Disclosure office
"Nothing is too good for you guys ... and that's exactly what you're gonna get ..." LTC (EUCOM) describing the way Army policy is formulated
"The only thing that sucks worse than being me is being you..." LTC (EUCOM)
"Is that a Navy or a Marine admiral?" MAJ (EUCOM)
Marine Col (MARFOREUR)
"I am so far down the food chain that I've got plankton bites on my butt."
"None of us is as dumb as all of us." Excerpted from a brief (EUCOM)
"We're from the nuke shop, sir. We're the crazy aunt in the closet that nobody likes to talk about ..." Lt Col (EUCOM) in briefings
"Things are looking up for us here. In fact, Papua-New Guinea is thinking of offering two platoons: one of Infantry (headhunters) and one of engineers (hut builders). They want to eat any Iraqis they kill. We've got no issues with that, but State is being anal about it." LTC (JS) on OIF coalition-building.
"The chance of success in these talks is the same as the number of "R's" in 'fat chance...'" GS-15 (SHAPE)
"His knowledge on that topic is only power point deep..." MAJ (JS)
"Ya know, in this Command, if the world were supposed to end tomorrow, it would still happen behind schedule." CWO4 (EUCOM)
"We are condemned men who are chained and will row in place until we rot." LtCol (CENTCOM) on life at his Command
"Right now we're pretty much the ham in a bad ham sandwich..." GO/FO (EUCOM)
"The only reason that anything ever gets done is because there are pockets of competence in every command. The key is to find them ... and then exploit the hell out of 'em." CDR (CENTCOM)
"I may be slow, but I do poor work..." MAJ (USAREUR)
"Cynicism is the smoke that rises from the ashes of burned out dreams." Maj (CENTCOM) on the daily thrashings delivered to AOs at his Command.
"Working with Hungary is like watching a bad comedy set on auto repeat..." LCDR (EUCOM)
"I finally figured out that when a Turkish officer tells you, "Its no problem," he means, for him." Maj (EUCOM)
"Never in the history of the US Armed Forces have so many done so much for so few..." MAJ (Task Force Warrior) on the "success" of the Free Iraqi Forces (FIF) Training Program, where 1100 Army troops trained 77 Iraqi exiles at the cost of, ...well, ...way too much...
"Never in the history of the US Armed Forces have so many done so much for so few..." MAJ (Task Force Warrior) on the "success" of the Free Iraqi Forces (FIF) Training Program, where 1100 Army troops trained 77 Iraqi exiles at the cost of, ... well, ... way too much ...
"Between us girls, would it help to clarify the issue if you knew that Hungary is land-locked?" CDR to MAJ (EUCOM) on why a deployment from Hungary is likely to proceed by air vice sea
"So, what do you wanna do?"..."I dunno, what do YOU wanna do?"..."I dunno, what do YOU wanna do?," etc. COL (DIA) describing the way OUSD(P) develops and implements their strategies.
"I'll be right back. I have to go pound my nuts flat ..." Lt Col (EUCOM) after being assigned a difficult task
"I guess this is the wrong power cord for the computer, huh?" LtCol (EUCOM) after the smoke cleared from plugging his 110V computer into a 220V outlet
"'Status quo,' as you know, is Latin for 'the mess we're in...'" Attributed to former President Ronald Reagan
"Nobody ever said you had to be smart to make 0-6." Col (EUCOM)
"I haven't complied with a darn thing and nothing bad has happened to me yet."
"Whatever happened to good old-fashioned military leadership? Just task the first two people you see."
"Accuracy and attention to detail take a certain amount of time."
"I seem to be rapidly approaching the apex of my mediocre career." MAJ (JS)
"Much work remains to be done before we can announce our total failure to make any progress."
"It's not a lot of work unless you have to do it." LTC (EUCOM)
"Creating smoking holes (with bombs) gives our lives meaning and enhances our manliness." LTC (EUCOM) at a CT conference
"You can get drunk enough to do most anything, but you have to realize going in that there are some things that, once you sober up and realize what you have done, will lead you to either grab a 12-gauge or stay drunk for the rest of your life."
"Let's just call Lessons Learned what they really are: institutionalized scab picking."
"You're not a loser. You're just not my kind of winner..." GS-14 (OSD)
"I'm just livin' the dream..." EUCOM staffer response to the question, "How's it going?" or, "What are you doing?"
"Why would an enemy want to bomb this place and end all the confusion?" GS-14 (EUCOM)
"Other than the fact that there's no beer, an early curfew and women that wear face coverings for a very good reason, Kabul is really a wonderful place to visit." LTC (CENTCOM)
"It was seen, ... visually." LTC (EUCOM) during a Reconnaissance briefing
"Let me tell you about the benefits of being on a staff ..." "This should be a short conversation." Lt Col to Lt Col (EUCOM)
"After seeing the way this place works, I bet that Mickey Mouse wears a EUCOM watch." Maj (EUCOM)
"I keep myself confused on purpose, just in case I am captured and fall into enemy hands!" GO/FO (CENTCOM)
"Does anybody around here remember if I did anything this year?" LTC (EUCOM) preparing his Officer Evaluation Report support form
"I'd be happy to classify this document for you. Could you tell me its classification?" GS11 (EUCOM) in an email from the Foreign Disclosure office
"Nothing is too good for you guys ... and that's exactly what you're gonna get ..." LTC (EUCOM) describing the way Army policy is formulated
"The only thing that sucks worse than being me is being you..." LTC (EUCOM)
"Is that a Navy or a Marine admiral?" MAJ (EUCOM)
Ways To Describe Officer Efficiency
Here's a list of the phrases you can use to describe military officers' efficiency. Sorry, Richard!
"Not the sharpest knife in the drawer."
"Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching."
"A room temperature IQ."
"Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together."
"A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
"A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."
"A prime candidate for natural deselection."
"Bright as Alaska in December."
"One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests."
"Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
"Fell out of the family tree."
"Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."
"Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it."
"He's so dense, light bends around him."
"If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate."
"If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
"If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
"If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."
"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."
"Takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes."
"Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby."
"Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."
"Not the sharpest knife in the drawer."
"Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching."
"A room temperature IQ."
"Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together."
"A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
"A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."
"A prime candidate for natural deselection."
"Bright as Alaska in December."
"One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests."
"Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
"Fell out of the family tree."
"Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."
"Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it."
"He's so dense, light bends around him."
"If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate."
"If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
"If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
"If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."
"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."
"Takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes."
"Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby."
"Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."
How It Is, it is what it is, and this is how it is. Good, good title, De'on. Eye-catching. I like that.
There are so many names I didn’t get to last night. New York, various military installations, and an assortment of bloggers who’ve become more like friends that live down the street instead of a few states over. Amazing.
I’ve got a couple of projects going for the blog that I’ll get to after I finish this. I just wanted to talk to you a minute.
I’ve been out visiting tonight, at the bloggers’ houses. Funny, I think of them that way, as their homes. But I do, just as I think of Gunz Up as mine. I want its appearance to be pleasing, to say a little something about who I am. And just like in real life, I’m very open at times, but generally, I do a pretty fair job of hiding behind other wars and other heroes.
I’m a little sentimental tonight. I’d planned on heading right into Cop South with LT Rich and the Seabees, but I’m not going to do that just yet. The “story” I’d planned on doing last in the series, is the one I’m going to work on now, so that might take a while. I just wanted you all to know I’m here. I’ll be checking my email, and all the comments get sent there too, which is the reason mine sound crazy at times. Sometimes I see the last first, depending on whichever way my tiny little hammer takes me at the time.
Before I get started on anything though, I had to tell you how much you being in my life these last months have meant to me. I know, some of you probably think I need to get a life. Maybe that’d be right. Maybe my writing will worsen by blogging; there’s that chance. I don’t spend days or weeks on perfecting a post.
But this, you, and all that rest within tonight, are my life.
Lisa and Kayla were over here tonight. Kayla brought us the gifts she’d bought and wrapped for us well before Christmas. The Christmas her Auntie didn’t show up for.
I haven’t made it a secret how un-up for the energy end of Christmas (bad sentence, but for now it stands) I’ve been. Not that it’s been something to worry about, and no one has, really. I didn’t push it, and it shows. I should’ve pushed it for others. This is the first time I’ve not pushed, and it’s no better than pushing.
I am so losing my thread here.
Kayla, tonight, as she looked at me in my comfies on my little couch in front of my computer across from the fire while trusting and snoring animals wait at my feet, said, “I wish I had your life, Auntie,”
“I love my life,” I said. I do.
I love it. And when I go out and visit as I did tonight, I’m always ready to come home. No, nothing bad out there. These people are the greatest. I have hope for the support of our troops since I started blogging. I never even listen to the news on TV anymore. Every place I visit is so red, white and blue it nearly puts my eyes out.
It is the content. The content is all there, it’s all newsy and political and packing boxes, and most of the time, I leave feeling a little bit lonely. Just how I feel when I physically get up and go out in the real world.
I don’t really fit in.
I don’t say that out of pity at all. In many ways, I feel quite fortunate with the role I find myself in currently. I’m just not worried about what most people are worried about.
If things get bad enough, we’ll have a draft. If they get bad enough, we’ll have WWIII. If Iraq hates us or loves us, they will.
I care so deeply. But all of that is future stuff.
Tonight, while I’m here in my physical home, and in the halls of Gunz Up, I want to tell you: this is my life. I’m here and don’t want to leave. I don’t understand it, so no need to ask … just go with it.
I have no clue where everything is going to take us or how we’re going to get there. I learned nearly three years ago, we spend a great deal of time worrying about things that have nothing to do with anything. And tonight, it feels good to be free. To be free as a citizen of the great country my son died for. Yes, he died for those next to him, and he didn’t have a favorite right then. They were all his.
I bet more people come together on the Internet than they do anywhere else. I have no clue; save for a few, of who even reads this blog. But for those of you who’ve let me know, and those of you who just care enough to take the time, it means the absolute world to me to have you in my life.
I just wanted you to know that. On that, I do have an opinion.
Back later.
I’ve got a couple of projects going for the blog that I’ll get to after I finish this. I just wanted to talk to you a minute.
I’ve been out visiting tonight, at the bloggers’ houses. Funny, I think of them that way, as their homes. But I do, just as I think of Gunz Up as mine. I want its appearance to be pleasing, to say a little something about who I am. And just like in real life, I’m very open at times, but generally, I do a pretty fair job of hiding behind other wars and other heroes.
I’m a little sentimental tonight. I’d planned on heading right into Cop South with LT Rich and the Seabees, but I’m not going to do that just yet. The “story” I’d planned on doing last in the series, is the one I’m going to work on now, so that might take a while. I just wanted you all to know I’m here. I’ll be checking my email, and all the comments get sent there too, which is the reason mine sound crazy at times. Sometimes I see the last first, depending on whichever way my tiny little hammer takes me at the time.
Before I get started on anything though, I had to tell you how much you being in my life these last months have meant to me. I know, some of you probably think I need to get a life. Maybe that’d be right. Maybe my writing will worsen by blogging; there’s that chance. I don’t spend days or weeks on perfecting a post.
But this, you, and all that rest within tonight, are my life.
Lisa and Kayla were over here tonight. Kayla brought us the gifts she’d bought and wrapped for us well before Christmas. The Christmas her Auntie didn’t show up for.
I haven’t made it a secret how un-up for the energy end of Christmas (bad sentence, but for now it stands) I’ve been. Not that it’s been something to worry about, and no one has, really. I didn’t push it, and it shows. I should’ve pushed it for others. This is the first time I’ve not pushed, and it’s no better than pushing.
I am so losing my thread here.
Kayla, tonight, as she looked at me in my comfies on my little couch in front of my computer across from the fire while trusting and snoring animals wait at my feet, said, “I wish I had your life, Auntie,”
“I love my life,” I said. I do.
I love it. And when I go out and visit as I did tonight, I’m always ready to come home. No, nothing bad out there. These people are the greatest. I have hope for the support of our troops since I started blogging. I never even listen to the news on TV anymore. Every place I visit is so red, white and blue it nearly puts my eyes out.
It is the content. The content is all there, it’s all newsy and political and packing boxes, and most of the time, I leave feeling a little bit lonely. Just how I feel when I physically get up and go out in the real world.
I don’t really fit in.
I don’t say that out of pity at all. In many ways, I feel quite fortunate with the role I find myself in currently. I’m just not worried about what most people are worried about.
If things get bad enough, we’ll have a draft. If they get bad enough, we’ll have WWIII. If Iraq hates us or loves us, they will.
I care so deeply. But all of that is future stuff.
Tonight, while I’m here in my physical home, and in the halls of Gunz Up, I want to tell you: this is my life. I’m here and don’t want to leave. I don’t understand it, so no need to ask … just go with it.
I have no clue where everything is going to take us or how we’re going to get there. I learned nearly three years ago, we spend a great deal of time worrying about things that have nothing to do with anything. And tonight, it feels good to be free. To be free as a citizen of the great country my son died for. Yes, he died for those next to him, and he didn’t have a favorite right then. They were all his.
I bet more people come together on the Internet than they do anywhere else. I have no clue; save for a few, of who even reads this blog. But for those of you who’ve let me know, and those of you who just care enough to take the time, it means the absolute world to me to have you in my life.
I just wanted you to know that. On that, I do have an opinion.
Back later.
Monday, January 01, 2007
Between The Years
January 1
Our Lord and our God. We joy in Thee. Without Thy Help we could not face unafraid the year before us.
I STAND between the years. The Light of My Presence is flung across the year to come--the radiance of the Sun of Righteousness. Backward, over the past year, is My Shadow thrown, hiding trouble and sorrow and disappointment.
Dwell not on the past--only on the present. Only use the past as the trees use My Sunlight to absorb it, to make from it in after days the warming fire-rays. So store only the blessings from Me, the Light of the World. Encourage yourselves by the thought of these.
Bury every fear of the future, of poverty for those dear to you, of suffering, of loss. Bury all thought of unkindness and bitterness, all your dislikes, your resentment, your sense of failure, your disappointment in others and in yourselves, your gloom, your despondency, and let us leave them all, buried, and go forward to a new and risen life.
Remember that you must not see as the world sees. I hold the year in My Hands--in trust for you. But I shall guide you one day at a time.
Leave the rest with Me. You must not anticipate the gift by fears or thought of the days ahead.
And for each day I shall supply the wisdom and the strength.
Russell, A. J., ed. God Calling. Barnes & Noble, 2002.
Our Lord and our God. We joy in Thee. Without Thy Help we could not face unafraid the year before us.
I STAND between the years. The Light of My Presence is flung across the year to come--the radiance of the Sun of Righteousness. Backward, over the past year, is My Shadow thrown, hiding trouble and sorrow and disappointment.
Dwell not on the past--only on the present. Only use the past as the trees use My Sunlight to absorb it, to make from it in after days the warming fire-rays. So store only the blessings from Me, the Light of the World. Encourage yourselves by the thought of these.
Bury every fear of the future, of poverty for those dear to you, of suffering, of loss. Bury all thought of unkindness and bitterness, all your dislikes, your resentment, your sense of failure, your disappointment in others and in yourselves, your gloom, your despondency, and let us leave them all, buried, and go forward to a new and risen life.
Remember that you must not see as the world sees. I hold the year in My Hands--in trust for you. But I shall guide you one day at a time.
Leave the rest with Me. You must not anticipate the gift by fears or thought of the days ahead.
And for each day I shall supply the wisdom and the strength.
Russell, A. J., ed. God Calling. Barnes & Noble, 2002.
Kayla's Info
My New Year resolution is to save 700 dollars in change. I will just pick up any penny or whatever coin and save it in a jar. What I will do with it is unknown. But a math teacher was telling the class about it and I thought that it would be a cool idea. I already have like half a medium sized jar. Of course the size depends on what kind of size you are picturing in your head. But it would be cool of you commented what your resolutions are.
I just updated my profile a tad. It has my new favorite song. It is called "Boston" by Augustana. My favorite part about it is the lyrics. I love them. Maybe I can find the words on the internet and post it. Then y' all could see why I love it so much. But it is a girl who wants to start over.
Earlier I mentioned a books I was reading called " Chosen by a Horse" and it is awesome. I am just barely finishing it because I used to read just one chapter a night but today I will finish it. My granny bought it for me. Thank you granny it is a great book. Right now it is sad but I just hope it gets happier at the end but it is hard to tell. Later I will read a book my sis- in- law loaned me but I forgot what it was called. I am sure it will be good. I also need to finish my Nicholas Sparks ones. Well thinking of all these books has me thinking I need to go read.
I just updated my profile a tad. It has my new favorite song. It is called "Boston" by Augustana. My favorite part about it is the lyrics. I love them. Maybe I can find the words on the internet and post it. Then y' all could see why I love it so much. But it is a girl who wants to start over.
Earlier I mentioned a books I was reading called " Chosen by a Horse" and it is awesome. I am just barely finishing it because I used to read just one chapter a night but today I will finish it. My granny bought it for me. Thank you granny it is a great book. Right now it is sad but I just hope it gets happier at the end but it is hard to tell. Later I will read a book my sis- in- law loaned me but I forgot what it was called. I am sure it will be good. I also need to finish my Nicholas Sparks ones. Well thinking of all these books has me thinking I need to go read.
Happy New Year to ...
Marines Miles, Andrew and our much loved and wondering where they are!!??
MUSHROOMS
MUSHROOMS
Sunday, December 31, 2006
2007 Gifties from De'on
I'm out shopping for you! Check throughout the day for your name. If it's not there, come shoot me.
Or tell me your name.
Then, just clink the link (cute, huh?) with your tiny laptop hammer (didn't you get one?) on your name. If you clink on other names with your tiny hammer, that's fine too. It's strictly who first came to mind when I saw the gifty.
If a photo strikes my fancy, that may be your gift. If this is the case, please refrain from using the tiny hammer.
This New Year's Eve gift comes to you from Your Biggest Fan.
Love to all, and have a blessed 2007.
I'll be back! Let the good times begin!
Me!
Or tell me your name.
Then, just clink the link (cute, huh?) with your tiny laptop hammer (didn't you get one?) on your name. If you clink on other names with your tiny hammer, that's fine too. It's strictly who first came to mind when I saw the gifty.
If a photo strikes my fancy, that may be your gift. If this is the case, please refrain from using the tiny hammer.
This New Year's Eve gift comes to you from Your Biggest Fan.
Love to all, and have a blessed 2007.
I'll be back! Let the good times begin!
Me!
Happy New Year to Americans Near and Far
Don't forget to Refresh the page if you've been here a while.
Happy New Year to Julia
now unto him
that is able to do
exceeding abundantly
above all that
we ask or think
according to the power
that worketh in us
unto him be glory
in the church
by christ jesus
throughout all ages
world without end
amen
the book of common worship
that is able to do
exceeding abundantly
above all that
we ask or think
according to the power
that worketh in us
unto him be glory
in the church
by christ jesus
throughout all ages
world without end
amen
the book of common worship
I was tagged.
Since I was tagged by Ebyjo, here are 5 weird things about me:
1. I like my ice put in the glass before adding 1/4 Jar Lipton tea (large) and water. It tastes funny if ice is added after it's mixed.
2. I hate elastic of any form, anywhere on my body.
3. I don't like too many butts in the ashtray which is hard b/c of my habit. I haven't yet set a trash can beside me here, but I'm close.
4. Right now, I'm a night person. Love the nights, hate the days. This started when Steve was in Iraq. He's fine and in bed at 8:30. I'm moving to Afghanistan. I'm clearly not getting over it.
5. I save my "new stuff" until it's old.
1. I like my ice put in the glass before adding 1/4 Jar Lipton tea (large) and water. It tastes funny if ice is added after it's mixed.
2. I hate elastic of any form, anywhere on my body.
3. I don't like too many butts in the ashtray which is hard b/c of my habit. I haven't yet set a trash can beside me here, but I'm close.
4. Right now, I'm a night person. Love the nights, hate the days. This started when Steve was in Iraq. He's fine and in bed at 8:30. I'm moving to Afghanistan. I'm clearly not getting over it.
5. I save my "new stuff" until it's old.
Happy New Year and ...
Thank you to Flag Gazer for the e-card she sent to Gunz Up.
She's in our links!
Must take a bath and supper to cook, oh yuk, break. When I come back, I'll have thought of five weird things about me. Ebyjo tagged me, and of course, I didn't know what tagging was.
Now I know. They explain in their blog, which is in our links too. I don't think I have 5 weird things, but I've been thinking. Gunz is perfect too. :)
Back later. Still a great many names. It has to be special, not just something splashed up there with your name on it.
Happy New Year to ...
Gawfer and Sailors everywhere!
Click on his name to check out his site. He's added to our links.
This image is his. It comes up when you comment.
Happy New Year to Doc
Study notes. Perhaps you should review the old post, Corpsman, I'm not highlighting them again!
You'll see some of this again. I did tell you that you have to take tests, didn't I?
The hospital corps has, after a fashion, been a part of the United States Naval service since 1799 when a provision of congress was instituted service-wide to include a surgeon's assistant on all ships of the fleet.The title of this specialty of training, also known as rating in naval terminology has changed over the years from loblolly boy, surgeon's steward, apothecary and bayman, the latter three all requiring the rate holder to be a recipient of some private medical instruction.On 17 June 1898 by act of congress, the Hospital Corps was established, though the actual name of the servicemen under that rating would change several times (being known as "Pharmacist's Mates" throughout the World Wars) before ultimately becoming simply "Hospital Corpsman". The modern rating abbreviation is HM.During World War I, there were 684 personal awards issued to Hospital Corpsmen, who distinguished themselves while serving with the United States Marines in numerous battles, among them Belleau Wood.In World War II, Hospital Corpsmen hit the beach with the U.S. Marines in every battle in the Pacific. A Hospital Corpsman named John Bradley was among the group of Marines in the famous flag raising on Mt.Suribachi during the Battle of Iwo Jima. They also served on ships and submarines. They performed 14 unassisted appendectomies while in a submarine. The Hospital Corps has the distinction of being the only corps in the U.S. Navy to be singled out in a famous speech by Secretary of the Navy James Forrestal after the conclusion of World War II.
Virgie Bell's View
It is almost time to bid another year good-bye and to welcome a new year in, and as per usual, I shall do my celebration by having my nose buried in a book while Jerry slumbers beside me. It is really not a bad way to greet the coming year and bid adieu to things past. In fact, I rather like this part of the year, seems we can all sort of clean the slate of past mistakes and look forward to some achievement, if we don't aim too high.
I guess Ellen DeGeneres gave pretty good advice in today's Parade Magazine. The little newsy tucked into to the Sunday edition of my newspaper. She gives this advice to keep New Year’s resolutions: keep your list, keep it short, keep it real, and keep on truckin. Ms … Miss ... whatever her prefix to her name is called, says in the article that she underwent hypnosis in order to quit smoking and that she achieved success with this form of treatment. I think I read somewhere that the first requirement is to genuinely have a desire to quit. Well to be honest, it is the one thing I enjoy and it is very hard to give up something you really like. I have remained in a suspended state of longing to want to, but have somehow never got beyond that desiring to desire. Addiction to nicotine is possibly one of the hardest addictions to overcome, so kudos to Ms … Miss ... oh well ... at least she was able to succeed and is now smoke free.... She is also able to brag about the fact (as I have noticed most that quit smoking are prone to do, in fact, that has almost become part of the name they have for themselves). She also recommends using this list of resolutions celebrating what is right about yourself (as in she is now a non-smoker.) She also has a goal of not going to beauty school in this coming year, as well as to not exercise until the summer of 2007. Now that I can relate to, and will probably be successful in at least one of these endeavors. I am pretty sure I won’t go to beauty school, but on to the next subject which is not about prefix or titles before one's name but about names given by parents.
The list of democratic contenders is getting a bit long. As in Hillary, a one-word-no-prefix-or-title required. (As in Elvis). She pointed this fact out while she was still first lady, gleefully I might add. Another one that has thrown his hat in the ring as a challenger is Senator John Edwards, 'Not to be confused with a Ken Doll.' His words not mine. If he hadn't used the comparison I don't think I would have ever made the connection. When I look at him now, my mind jumps to connect the two. Is this good or is this just smart politically, name recognition? What about The as in The Donald? Or even Theresa Heinz also known as Theresa Heinz Kerry, until she dropped the Kerry part in favor of Heinz, as in ketchup on your grocery shelf. For a little while when her husband was the candidate for president, she told a room full of toughs that she wanted to be known as their Mama T. You know, as in Mr. T.? Also known for the quote: “I pity the fool,” or what about "That Woman" or “that Monica Lewinsky" as in Hillary & Bill or Hillary Rodom Clinton? Who also would like to be known as Madam President. Get it? Well, at least I can assure the readers that no matter what I am called, I WILL SUPPORT THE TROOPS!
I guess Ellen DeGeneres gave pretty good advice in today's Parade Magazine. The little newsy tucked into to the Sunday edition of my newspaper. She gives this advice to keep New Year’s resolutions: keep your list, keep it short, keep it real, and keep on truckin. Ms … Miss ... whatever her prefix to her name is called, says in the article that she underwent hypnosis in order to quit smoking and that she achieved success with this form of treatment. I think I read somewhere that the first requirement is to genuinely have a desire to quit. Well to be honest, it is the one thing I enjoy and it is very hard to give up something you really like. I have remained in a suspended state of longing to want to, but have somehow never got beyond that desiring to desire. Addiction to nicotine is possibly one of the hardest addictions to overcome, so kudos to Ms … Miss ... oh well ... at least she was able to succeed and is now smoke free.... She is also able to brag about the fact (as I have noticed most that quit smoking are prone to do, in fact, that has almost become part of the name they have for themselves). She also recommends using this list of resolutions celebrating what is right about yourself (as in she is now a non-smoker.) She also has a goal of not going to beauty school in this coming year, as well as to not exercise until the summer of 2007. Now that I can relate to, and will probably be successful in at least one of these endeavors. I am pretty sure I won’t go to beauty school, but on to the next subject which is not about prefix or titles before one's name but about names given by parents.
The list of democratic contenders is getting a bit long. As in Hillary, a one-word-no-prefix-or-title required. (As in Elvis). She pointed this fact out while she was still first lady, gleefully I might add. Another one that has thrown his hat in the ring as a challenger is Senator John Edwards, 'Not to be confused with a Ken Doll.' His words not mine. If he hadn't used the comparison I don't think I would have ever made the connection. When I look at him now, my mind jumps to connect the two. Is this good or is this just smart politically, name recognition? What about The as in The Donald? Or even Theresa Heinz also known as Theresa Heinz Kerry, until she dropped the Kerry part in favor of Heinz, as in ketchup on your grocery shelf. For a little while when her husband was the candidate for president, she told a room full of toughs that she wanted to be known as their Mama T. You know, as in Mr. T.? Also known for the quote: “I pity the fool,” or what about "That Woman" or “that Monica Lewinsky" as in Hillary & Bill or Hillary Rodom Clinton? Who also would like to be known as Madam President. Get it? Well, at least I can assure the readers that no matter what I am called, I WILL SUPPORT THE TROOPS!
Happy New Year to ...
Greg & Mom
Those who've served near Ramadi, lived in my husband's native state and Karen
Texas Football Fans, to include: Roy, Zach, Gary & Dad. Amherst, Texas
The photo is for Donna, Jerrod, Michael.
Karen, again, for sure. Also DAR members everywhere, Ft. Mead, and Granbury (did I spell that right?), TX
Karen and Steve. Geez, Karen.
Flag Gazer.
A Warrior Not Forgotten
The American flag at Andrews Air Force Base, Md., flies at half staff Dec. 29 in honor of former President Gerald Ford who died Dec. 26 at age 93. President Bush has declared Jan. 2 a national day of mourning. (U.S. Air Force photo/Tech. Sgt. Christopher J. Matthews)
The Air Force Song
Off we go into the wild blue younder,
climbing high into the sun,
here they come, zooming to meet our thunder;
at 'em boys, give 'er the gun!
Down we dive, spouting our flame from under,
off with one Hell-of-a roar!
We live in fame or go down in flame,
(shout) Nothing will stop the U.S. Air Force!
Minds of men fashioned a crate of thunder,
Sent it high into the blue;
Hands of men blasted the world asunder,
How they lived God only knew!
Souls of men dreaming of skies to conquer
Gave us wing, ever to soar.
With scouts before and bombers galore,
Nothing can stop the U.S. Air Force!
Here's a toast to the host of those who
love the vastness of the sky,
To a friend we send this message
of his brother men who fly.
We drink to those who gave their all of old
Then down we roar to score the rainbow's pot of gold.
A toast to the host of men we boast
The U.S. Air Force!
Off we go into the wild sky yonder
Keep the wing level and true
If you'd live to be a gray haired wonder
Keep the nose out of the blue
Flying men, guarding our nation's borders
We'll be there followed by more
In echelon, we carry on
Nothing can stop the U.S. Air Force!
Liberty Magazine sponsored a song contest in 1938 for an official song of the Army Air Corps. The winning composition was a tune written in 6/8 time by Robert Crawford. It officially premiered at the Cleveland Air Races in 1939. The original title was "What do you think of the Air Corps Now?" but it was later changed to "The Air Force Song" when the separate U.S. Air Force was created in 1947.
Hey, We're Smart!!
When I was in the Air Force, our commanders never tired of telling us that we were the intellectual elite of the U.S. military. They told us, over and over, that the Marines and the Army were the babysitters, taking the men and women the Air Force wouldn't have. Now, don't start chunking things at me. I'm just telling you what they would say to us ... don't kill the messenger, OK?!!
Anyway, an incident during basic training made me wonder about the intellectual might of the Air Force. We were in the dayroom, receiving some kind of instruction from our TI when he was interrupted by a voice coming in over the speaker. Our TI was told his wife just called, and she said "the rabbit died." We all cheered in congratulations. For those of you too young to remember this euphemism, it meant that a woman was pregnant. Decades ago, rabbits were used in the pregnancy tests.
A few days later, my flight was in the middle of a GI party, and for some reason, we were wondering if our TI lived on or off base. I don't remember why we were discussing that -- it's just more evidence of our superior brains. Anyway, one of the guys said, "I think he lives off base in the country somewhere."
I asked him whey he thought that, and he said, "He has to live out in the country if he has animals. Don't you remember when they told him his rabbit died?"
Footnote: The Air Force failed to mention that our brains also were pickled. While I was stationed at Sheppard in Wichita Falls, our Airman's Club had the distinction of having the highest alcohol consumption rate in Texas. GO AIR FORCE!
Anyway, an incident during basic training made me wonder about the intellectual might of the Air Force. We were in the dayroom, receiving some kind of instruction from our TI when he was interrupted by a voice coming in over the speaker. Our TI was told his wife just called, and she said "the rabbit died." We all cheered in congratulations. For those of you too young to remember this euphemism, it meant that a woman was pregnant. Decades ago, rabbits were used in the pregnancy tests.
A few days later, my flight was in the middle of a GI party, and for some reason, we were wondering if our TI lived on or off base. I don't remember why we were discussing that -- it's just more evidence of our superior brains. Anyway, one of the guys said, "I think he lives off base in the country somewhere."
I asked him whey he thought that, and he said, "He has to live out in the country if he has animals. Don't you remember when they told him his rabbit died?"
Footnote: The Air Force failed to mention that our brains also were pickled. While I was stationed at Sheppard in Wichita Falls, our Airman's Club had the distinction of having the highest alcohol consumption rate in Texas. GO AIR FORCE!
Focus On The Good
The following article, written by Erik German, appeared in Newsday on Dec. 17. Good deeds occur everyday, but so many people want to hear only bad or shocking news. There are good people in the world, doing good things. If we focus on the good that is being done, while still maintaining an awareness of the bad, we'd be in much better spirits.
Teen finds, returns $24K in movie theater
Imagine stumbling upon $24,000 cash. What would you do with the money?
The untraceable wad of $100 bills, rubber-banded together inside a zippered bank pouch, tumbled unnoticed from the purse of RoseMarie Limoncelli, 39, as she sat Friday inside the AMC Fantasy theater in Rockville Centre.
Christopher Montgomery, 19, found the money as he was cleaning between seats.
The Lynbrook student returned it. Every dollar.
"I was shocked," Limoncelli said. "It's so commendable to see a teenager do something so wonderful for someone else. My life could have been flipped upside down."
Montgomery, a liberal arts student at Nassau Community College, yesterday was reluctant to talk about his choice.
"He won't come out; he's not the type of kid that likes attention," said his mother, Donna Montgomery, 49, outside the family's Lynbrook home. "He said, 'It's no big deal.' I think he's embarrassed."
But for the Hewlett woman who nearly lost the $24,000, it was a very big deal indeed. Before recovering the cash, Limoncelli endured what amounted to a brief waking nightmare.
Limoncelli runs a business, and like many this time of year, she's been a bit harried lately.
"It's the holidays and I'm running in all different directions and trying to do my shopping in between," she said.
On Friday, she still hadn't made it to the bank when it came time to accompany her 8-year-old daughter, Sabrina, to see "Happy Feet" at 7:15 p.m.
Halfway through the film, Sabrina climbed onto Limoncelli's lap. To make room for her daughter, Limoncelli slid the purse under her seat, where it tipped over. The bank pouch must have fallen out in the dark, she said.
On the way home, mother and daughter stopped for ice cream. In line at the cash register, pint of Häagen-Dazs in hand, Limoncelli made the the blood-chilling discovery. The deposit bag was gone.
"My heart stopped," she said. "My whole body was shaking."
Frantic, she called her husband at home. The money wasn't there. She dialed information for the movie theater's number -- and was apoplectic when they placed her on hold.
"It was like the longest two minutes of my life," she said. "I screamed at the operator when she tried to give me the address and I said, 'I don't care, just give me the number!' ... I was hysterical, crying."
When she called the theater, Limoncelli experienced the holiday miracle she will likely recount for years to come.
After examining the cash, Christopher Montgomery had handed the pouch over to his manager.
Limoncelli said he refused a cash reward, but she hopes he'll at least accept a gift certificate to P.C. Richard & Son.
"I always tell my kids, 'I believe: a good deed -- you do one, you get one in return,'" Donna Montgomery said.
Teen finds, returns $24K in movie theater
Imagine stumbling upon $24,000 cash. What would you do with the money?
The untraceable wad of $100 bills, rubber-banded together inside a zippered bank pouch, tumbled unnoticed from the purse of RoseMarie Limoncelli, 39, as she sat Friday inside the AMC Fantasy theater in Rockville Centre.
Christopher Montgomery, 19, found the money as he was cleaning between seats.
The Lynbrook student returned it. Every dollar.
"I was shocked," Limoncelli said. "It's so commendable to see a teenager do something so wonderful for someone else. My life could have been flipped upside down."
Montgomery, a liberal arts student at Nassau Community College, yesterday was reluctant to talk about his choice.
"He won't come out; he's not the type of kid that likes attention," said his mother, Donna Montgomery, 49, outside the family's Lynbrook home. "He said, 'It's no big deal.' I think he's embarrassed."
But for the Hewlett woman who nearly lost the $24,000, it was a very big deal indeed. Before recovering the cash, Limoncelli endured what amounted to a brief waking nightmare.
Limoncelli runs a business, and like many this time of year, she's been a bit harried lately.
"It's the holidays and I'm running in all different directions and trying to do my shopping in between," she said.
On Friday, she still hadn't made it to the bank when it came time to accompany her 8-year-old daughter, Sabrina, to see "Happy Feet" at 7:15 p.m.
Halfway through the film, Sabrina climbed onto Limoncelli's lap. To make room for her daughter, Limoncelli slid the purse under her seat, where it tipped over. The bank pouch must have fallen out in the dark, she said.
On the way home, mother and daughter stopped for ice cream. In line at the cash register, pint of Häagen-Dazs in hand, Limoncelli made the the blood-chilling discovery. The deposit bag was gone.
"My heart stopped," she said. "My whole body was shaking."
Frantic, she called her husband at home. The money wasn't there. She dialed information for the movie theater's number -- and was apoplectic when they placed her on hold.
"It was like the longest two minutes of my life," she said. "I screamed at the operator when she tried to give me the address and I said, 'I don't care, just give me the number!' ... I was hysterical, crying."
When she called the theater, Limoncelli experienced the holiday miracle she will likely recount for years to come.
After examining the cash, Christopher Montgomery had handed the pouch over to his manager.
Limoncelli said he refused a cash reward, but she hopes he'll at least accept a gift certificate to P.C. Richard & Son.
"I always tell my kids, 'I believe: a good deed -- you do one, you get one in return,'" Donna Montgomery said.
Coffee Shortage
Top: No more coffee in Sunfax Market, Hollywood, so sign begs customers not to blame grocer. The real blame is on U-boats' attacks on the coffee freighters up from Brazil.
Bottom: To prevent hoarding, grocer shows customer how he punctures or unseals cans of vacuum-packed coffee. Coffee in cans thus punctured must be used within a short time.
Life November 30, 1942
Question:
Bottom: To prevent hoarding, grocer shows customer how he punctures or unseals cans of vacuum-packed coffee. Coffee in cans thus punctured must be used within a short time.Life November 30, 1942
Question:
How do you think Hollywood would fare today?
More (or less) about coffee
Top: "Plenty of coffee," says sign in George Paris' cafe in Hollywood. Joker is that the second cup costs $100. Problem of customer who walks out, comes back, is unsolved.
Middle: Placards like one below have been up for some time in "B/G" chain of restaurants. Before April they featured the "bottomless cup" or all that one could drink for 10 cents. [editor's note: this is the first time I realized the keyboards do not have a "cent" sign! What happended to them?]
Bottom: Coffee queues have been the result of delay in rationing. The peaceful crowd above at Broadway & Bank Street, Baltimore, is not church-bound but waiting for coffee.
Life November 30, 1942
Middle: Placards like one below have been up for some time in "B/G" chain of restaurants. Before April they featured the "bottomless cup" or all that one could drink for 10 cents. [editor's note: this is the first time I realized the keyboards do not have a "cent" sign! What happended to them?]
Bottom: Coffee queues have been the result of delay in rationing. The peaceful crowd above at Broadway & Bank Street, Baltimore, is not church-bound but waiting for coffee.
Life November 30, 1942
Why Martex Towels Are Scarce ...
Army-Navy "E" Awards at the West Point Manufacturing Company mills 
You won't find as many of those lovely, long wearing Martex Towels at your favorite store as usual ... but you will find that the Army medical Corps and the Navy Department's Bureau of Medicine & Surgery, and the boys in the armed services have the towels they need, and that many of these towels come from the same mill that makes your Martex Towels.
If you have bought Martex Towels in recent years, you are fortunate in owning the longest wearing towels, with the plied yarn underweave. Stores will have limited quantities.
Buy only what you really need--and conserve them carefully. They will last for years.
Life 1942
You won't find as many of those lovely, long wearing Martex Towels at your favorite store as usual ... but you will find that the Army medical Corps and the Navy Department's Bureau of Medicine & Surgery, and the boys in the armed services have the towels they need, and that many of these towels come from the same mill that makes your Martex Towels.If you have bought Martex Towels in recent years, you are fortunate in owning the longest wearing towels, with the plied yarn underweave. Stores will have limited quantities.
Buy only what you really need--and conserve them carefully. They will last for years.
Life 1942
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